My Adequate Hiatus

I ignored this mantra


I’m sure that you, my hopelessly devoted fan base, have noticed that I haven’t posted in a couple weeks. Well, even successful lifestyle bloggers need to take vacations sometimes!

I’m pleased to report that I’ve taken the last two weeks to live my life as usual. I traveled from my bed, to my couch, to my car, and back again.

I exercised one time. I ate a lot of pizza. I kept forgetting to go to the hardware store. And I realized just how important it is to recharge those batteries by changing absolutely nothing about my routine. Because now, I’m prepared to be the lifestyle blogger that you, the adequate masses, deserve.

Cured by Carbs

I felt like such a productive, healthy human all week, until Thursday when I woke up feeling weird and awful. Mostly, my head hurt a lot. And it seemed like I had some weird sinus pressure going on, but I wasn’t congested. Also I was very thirsty. No matter how much water I drank, or how much veggie curry I ate, nothing helped. I googled lots of diseases and by Saturday afternoon, I decided I was dying. But before I threw in the towel and decided that my health was a lost cause, I tried one last thing:

 

I ordered a pizza! A half hour later, I felt amazing. It might because I hadn’t eaten enough for the last three days, or because I had a chance to lie down for a while, but I think my body just needed a miracle cocktail of cheese and empty carbs. It brought me back from the brink of…I don’t know, some kind of flu? A migraine? Death?

Oh, also I took an Excedrin but that’s probably not related.

How to Choose Happiness

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I was feeling down the other night. We’ve all been there, right? Everyone gets bummed out from time to time, but it’s important to remember not to give in to the temptation to wallow in it. Happiness is a choice, and it’s a choice you get to make every day. So I’m going to let you in on this little secret – one small thing I do that reminds me that things aren’t so bad.

Eat an entire pizza.

That’s right. It’s that simple. I went to the store, bought a pizza, popped that sucker in the oven and 13 minutes later…I was on the road to feeling better. Just like that! The best part is, anyone can do this. That’s right, even you! So cheer up – happiness is a choice and you can choose pizza.

(Disclaimer: I’m a lifestyle blogger with integrity, so I need to confess that I can only eat half a pizza. The fact that I can’t even follow my own advice correctly is, frankly, soul-crushing.)