Logic Hacks to Make Guacamole an Acceptable Dinner Choice


Guacamole is so delicious, it’s too bad I can’t eat it for every meal. But I can’t, because avocados are expensive and there’s no second reason. When I have avocados on hand, though, I try to make the most of it. Here are a couple ways that I shoehorn guacamole (or guacamole-like-substances) into a completely legitimate main course.

Chips for Dinner

No doctor or reasonable person would ever tell you to eat chips and guacamole for dinner. But I’m going to let you in on a secret so you can do it guilt-free. The secret: homemade chips!  That’s right, if you bake the chips yourself, it’s as if you were eating a tortilla. Tortillas are for sandwiches. Ergo, eating chips and guacamole for dinner is equivalent to eating a sandwich for dinner. And no reasonable person would complain about that.

To make chips: Slice a tortilla into wedges, lay on cookie sheet and spray with olive oil (and salt/chili powder/etc). Bake at 375 for 8-12 minutes.

To make guacamole: Oh come on, you know how to make guacamole. I’m not going to insult your intelligence by telling you a guacamole recipe. I put cumin in mine, though, which feels like a worthwhile secret to share.

Avocado Toast

Avocado toast is very hip and expensive right now, but it’s also very a-normal-breakfast. And if something is breakfast, you can definitely repurpose it into a dinner. Avocado toast is basically a deconstructed guacamole, but it requires even fewer ingredients. So you’re at least 50% more likely to be able to make it at any given time.

Here’s how I made the one above: Mash an avocado with a little lime juice. Scoop onto toast. Top with salt, pepper, tomatoes.

There you have it: not one but two dinners made out of condiments. I ate both of these dinners last week, and I feel GREAT and kind of weak and tired.

Recipe: Mediterranean-ish Wrap


Last night, I wanted to eat something. I wanted to cook, but I didn’t have the energy to cook. Here’s a perfectly functional recipe for something in the vaguely Mediterranean family kind of.
You’ll need:
1 tortilla
some hummus
an amount of onion
brown rice/quinoa blend
mozzarella cheese?
3 or 4 grape tomatoes
To make this totally acceptable wrap, you’ll want to start by warming the tortilla- I used a regular tortilla even though I meant to get the extra soft ones because they’re spongey and they make me feel safe. This recipe works best if you forget you put the tortilla in the toaster oven, so it comes out far too hot and then brittles itself into a crunchy crisp.
Next, slather hummus onto the tortilla. Any amount will do. Slice an arbitrary amount of onions (best if it’s enough to overpower the whole dish), taking extra care to forego a cutting board and slice your thumb with a serrated knife in the process.
Pause to rinse the blood off yourself and the onion.
Then, add 1/4 cup (maybe? that sounds like a nice measurement?) of instant quinoa/brown rice blend. Throw on some mozzarella cheese because hey, it was in the fridge. Top it off with some fresh spinach. And don’t forget, grape tomatoes are another thing you can slice without a cutting board. So why not nick your thumb just one more time for good measure?
Verdict: This was okay. It tasted a little weird, and that was probably the mozzarella. But if I ordered it at a restaurant, I wouldn’t send it back. I also wouldn’t go back to that restaurant.