How to Be Effortlessly Beautiful Also That’s a Lie I’m Sorry

As a successful lifestyle blogger, I take a lot of photos of myself. It’s important to show you, my loyal readers, what I look like so you view me as a favorable lifestyle personality. But actually it’s all a ruse to take a lot of selfies. I’m sorry.

I could make a whole post about how this look is a part of some new beauty routine or something, but really I just like this picture and I wanted to post it. I’m sorry. I went to film something and there was a makeup artist on set. I can’t even pass this off as my beauty hack because I have no idea how she did it I’m sorry. If I were to come up with a beauty hack from this, it would be “hire a makeup artist.” But nobody can do that. I’m sorry, please indulge this post that is completely about me.

When I got back to my car I took a quick picture to see what the makeup looked like. The lighting was pretty good, and all in all I thought it was a really good picture. I’m sorry. This is a totally narcissistic post where I pretend I’m telling you a beauty hack but it’s just to validate me and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’ll even make the picture really small so you don’t have to look at my face too much. I don’t want to waste too much of your time loading a big picture of my professionally altered but totally natural face.

This blog is supposed to tell you how to live an adequate life, and I’m only showing you an adequate illusion. Would it help if I pointed out that my glasses are crooked and my bangs dried kind of weird? No? Sorry. This was unnecessary. I’ll be back with a recipe or a cleaning tip next time I’m sorry. Again, so sorry.

Do I look okay though?

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